Women and surprises go together. They surprise us all the time. Think of
it. A female patient gave Dr Prakash Kothari, Sexologist, a surprise gift – a
dildo made of 300 year old ivory. Poonam Pandey has a code for surprises. She made
her ice-bucket into a …surprise, surprise….thighs and bucket challenge. The
other day one Nidhi gifted a shoe-shaped cake to Anitha. Thus, women can surprise
you in the middle of night to wish, kiss, gift and much more….
Well, men are
not so good at giving surprises. A few do try. One man hid inside a washing
machine to surprise his girlfriend. She was surprised at first and then shocked.
This man was naked and could not get out of the machine. Finally, emergency
service men pulled him out using olive oil.
Another lady wanted a phone. But she got a galaxy as a surprise gift. One
could see her struggling to hold it. Wonder was it a gift or punishment? Then
there was a man who blindfolded his wife with a promise to surprise her. She felt something like a diamond necklace
going around her neck. But he was actually putting a string around her neck to
strangle her. Such news of fatal
surprises would discourage anybody from expecting surprises. But not women. Their
appetite for surprises is enormous.
In fact, women
have more opportunities to surprise men. Especially, those women who love to surprise
men with new recipes all the time. Though the man here has a distinct role of a
domesticated guinea pig, he is expected to put on “I’m lovin’ it” act with
every platter of surprise. It can be anything from a ‘capsicum dessert’ or pizza
with chana-dal-paste toppings. Here, the man has nothing to lose other than
going through an occasional bout of loose motions.
But the real
catch comes when a woman expects a man to surprise her. Once my wife caught me
unawares, “Can you do stuffed brinjal?” she asked. My kinky thoughts wandered…
before she nudged me and said, “It is a kitchen thing”. Men…!!
Yes, I am a game
for surprises. Once I surprised my wife
by gifting a laundry bag. “How thoughtful of him!” said her colleague, Anjani.
The best surprise, I gave, was when I took my wife to a movie, Om Shanti Om,
without prior information. I got the
tickets booked and took her to the Mall for “shopping” and then flashed the
tickets. It did catch her unawares and pleased her immensely. But she surprised
me two days later when she celebrated her birthday. My blunder, I confused her date of birth (25th) with that of my daughter’s birthday (23th).
In the following
birthdays (I got the date right), I gifted her an instant geyser and next a
Casserole. I had several surprise gifts lined up for her future birthdays –
emergency lamp, electric kettle, wall clock, mosquito bat and so on. She promptly
surprised me with return gifts. The cycle of surprises was going well till Shruti
advised my wife, “Do not accept household things as birthday gifts”. I am told
gifts should come in Gold and Diamond. Which meant more trips to the bank
locker. Anyway, this unaffordable option broke my cycle of surprises. Clearly,
I have lost the race. But I continue to get surprise birthday gifts and return
gifts too. The latest gift I got from my
wife was a Fossil watch. I got the message. I feel like a fossil now. Gone were the days when I could think of taking her on a long drive to eat a cup cake. Now you get both, taxi and cup-cake, on-line.
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