My Trysts and Twists with Spiritual Gurus

Today, almost everyone follows a guru. Amazingly, gurus, irrespective of their hues and deeds - school dropouts or ex-IAS, caught drinking whisky or with their pants down, money laundering or land grabbing - find followers everywhere. I feel happy when people claim that their guru has changed their life for better. 

Though I live on the principle of do good without a guru of my own, several people have tried to ‘spiritualise’ me.  Once, a spiritually inclined colleague promised, “Make an eye contact with my guru, you will feel the ‘current’, and your life will be ‘insured’.” I went. Our eyes met, and…..neither current nor insurance happened. Next, I was herded to a question-answer session.  The disciples asked their guru some sort of intellectual sounding questions. He always smiled before giving his profound sounding answers. Why smile? Was it because the questions were faltoo? Or, possibly the questions were leaked before the session. 

Later, I was taken to a hall. It had a map showing their branches all over the world and photos of guru with politicians and some white skinned disciples prostrating. I also found stacks of books written by/for/on the guru.  My colleague gifted me books to open my ‘spiritual window’.  Kundis of my window were too jammed to open. A few months later, the guru died and the ashram was left to his confidants to wrestle for their share of fortune. It was apparent that only a small portion of donations they received were spent on charity and the rest was stashed away. How ironic, gurus who wear nighties or dhotis all their life leave behind tons of unused wealth.   

   

Once, I was almost made into a follower of Baba Ramdev. The heavy breathing ‘Pranayam’ had become a new mode of communication.  People in office, trains and even bars talked about it. Thanks to the Baba, the cheapest veggie like bottle gourd which was profusely used in hostel canteens became a health product. Baba followers were seen everywhere, teaching yoga and selling magic pellets. For me, following the Baba meant moving lazy bones and panting. So I preferred the easier option of using his tooth paste. 

After undergoing the grind of gurus and gurugiri, a few facts are obvious. The drill is same – Q&A, maps, smiles, books, photos, fleet of high-end cars and an omnipresent donation box.  Interestingly, almost all our gurus live in enormous plush ashrams and their core role is to make money, right from charging parking fee for the non-existent parking area. A part of their fortune is spent on charity so that it acts as a honey trap to get more donations. Their wealthy ‘disciples’ are ever ready to offer them anything from imported bathroom fittings to high end cars. Tch! Tch! gurus who preach humility, simplicity and stress free life, can’t resist ‘offered’ luxuries! It is so easy to sit in plush ashrams and preach. Unlike most of us, they don’t have a career, family, EMIs, bills to pay, book their gas cylinders or stand in queues to get their Aadhar card. 

If all these high-flying gurus have a common goal, say spreading spirituality and betterment of society, then why don’t they work on one single identity or brand name. Their billions of funds and vast resources can enrich our country. But who cares? Gurus are focused in promoting their own brand of spirituality. People have their own reasons to follow a guru but finally it all boils down to one point: – can you donate or collect donations for them.

I think I have seen enough of gurus and their gurugiri. It is so refreshing to be among hardworking and honest people who have come up in life fighting all odds than following a guru. I am glad to have such people around me. They are so real. As for charity, you can always donate directly to the needy people.

Note: The content is not directed towards any guru and His/Her followers.  This is merely a narration of my inability to connect to gurus.

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