Who is a romantic husband? He should take his wife for long drives and/or he should surprise her with gifts on her birthday and/or bring flowers and pink heart-shaped balloons for Valentine Day and/or take her out for dinner. Married women do discuss about the romantic side of their husbands.
Generally, men would do or would have done most of the above duties during their courtship days or during warranty period (say within two years of marriage). During this period one needs to explore each others intellect, among other things. So they would take every opportunity to steal some private moments and possibly dine out quite often.
A few years after marriage, the idea of romance takes a different shape. While men think getting bullish after dinner is good enough, women still yearn for surprises. In other words, husbands are more ‘organic’ where as wives are more into ‘horticulture’ (flowers, et al).
As years go by, it is very difficult for a man to decide a ‘surprise gift’ for wife. Everybody can’t gift diamond necklace or aircraft. So you can think of cheaper options like handbags. But women want handbags “big enough” to carry everything and “small enough” to sling it on and it should look different from those four bought earlier. So you give up.
Buying a saree is indeed romantic. But you will have to take her all over the town to find a matching blouse piece. If it’s a “saree-with-blouse-piece” then its merry-go-shopping for matching petticoat. If you gift salwar-suit, the hunt would be for lining cloth or matching footwear. Women rarely find a suitable slipper. More often they buy it half-heartedly. Nevertheless they would be having minimum four variety of footwear. So choosing a slipper as surprise gift may lead to another round of shopping to exchange it.
You may drive your wife to office daily or make hundreds of trips to beauty shops or to the tailor to get her blouse. But a wife would always yearn for “long drives” which means driving into oblivion without any destination in mind and finally stopping after twenty five kilometers to eat an ice-cream. It is not easy if you have plans to rest on week-ends.
Yes, there are men who still try. On week-ends one man bikes around all over the town with his wife tightly glued on his back perennially tweeting in his ears almost chewing his ear lobes (a typical scene envied by other roadies). After doing his ‘romantic long drive’ part he ends up like a log. For which he is declared ‘unromantic’.
Taking wife out for dinner on her birthday is romantic. But ask a lady how romantic her birthday was. She would respond blandly with a sigh “Nothing special. We just went out for dinner”. So the novelty of going out for dinner is no longer romantic.
I have known men who have tried everything to make their wives life romantic. Ultimately, they have realized that this drill is like climbing a slippery pole.
Apparently, after a few years of married life, husbands end up like duds and come up with silly excuses for not being romantic. On the other hand, wives become more creative and imaginative to show their romantic side. They would come out with surprises, especially from the kitchen. Thanks to MTR/Everest/MDH, today a wife can set the ball rolling with instant Gulab jamuns or bambino kheers and what more pani puris, parathas…
There are men who are caring and grateful to their wives for whatever they do. However, all those gestures are not considered as “romantic”. Being romantic may wane in men gradually. But if men “put on” a few romantic emotions, wives can at least paint the town red with “My Husband is Romantic”.
2 comments:
HIGHLY SELF-OPINIONATED. MORE TO FOLLOW :-)
I am just venting out ¬ but nevertheless a blog like this one deserves it. For one, you are trying to show that men do a lot and it’s just women who don’t praise. At times, you are taking a stereotypical dig at woman/wife and at a few instances trying to empathize with woman and being sarcastic at the same time – which is just a put off.
Most middle-class women will never ask for jewelry, diamonds, or aircrafts – we are not the Bachchans, Mallyas or the Ambanis. If you were to know what your wife likes - flowers, cake, or clothes are the three things that are not difficult or at least these three things are something you can always risk as they are not expensive. Instead you are taking a dig at the shopping trips for petticoats, sandals etc. Don’t you go to a few stores and try at least 3 shirts before you buy one of them or maybe end up not buying anything?
I agree that eating out is no longer a novelty anymore but you could just free your wife from cooking and dish washing duties on some occasions – only if you look at it that way. How many times have you made a reservation on your wedding anniversary or your spouse’s birthday to free her from her daily chores? Your wife will anyways cook for you for the rest of the year.
While Everest/MDH/MTR may have made women’s task in the kitchen easier, you cannot eat the raw ingredients that these companies sell. And neither are these companies supplying magic wands with their products, someone still needs to spend time in kitchen to get you what want on a plate thrice a day.
Most women do their best to fit themselves into their husband’s house and do their best to accommodate the other person’s likes and dislikes including food, clothes, eating times, TV serials, movies, hobbies, restaurants and what not. It’s not uncommon to hear a man tell his newly wedded wife – my mom’s likes this and does not like or let’s not buy this because my dad does not approve of it.
Caring and romanticism doesn’t come by telling people that “I care for my wife and I am grateful to her” or telling women colleagues and acquaintances that women need to do this and that. So what next?
Over a period of time, a woman no doubt will feel like she is being taken for granted – a jolly ride that includes juggling all domestic chores, grocery shopping, managing a job and kid.
Post a Comment